Monday, December 6, 2010

Is Anyone There?

Hello, is this thing working?
Is anybody there?
Is anyone reading or listening?
Does anyone understand where I stand?
Does anyone find themselves at the same thought?
Does anyone believe what I have written?

Hello, is anyone there?
Are the words making sense?
Are the analogies real?
These thoughts, these expressions are they real?
Have you felt them? or are you feeling them?
Have you lived them? or are you living them?

Hello, is there anyone here?
Is anyone waiting to see what’s next?
Is anyone in doubt of the weight of these lines?
Does anyone have an opinion? Or voice to add?
Does anyone resent or despise these truths?
Does anyone accept or live in these lines?
Hello...is anyone there?

My Friend of Extremes

I have a friend of highs and lows
My friend is more like my family
I have a friend of highs and lows
My friend could be further than foes
I have a friend of highs and lows
My friend makes me laugh the hardest
I have a friend of highs and lows
My friend gets my heart to its lowest
I have a friend of highs and lows
My friend has love bigger than I know
I have a friend of highs and lows
My friend knows how to cease all love
I have a friend of highs and lows
My friend seems to know no harm
I have a friend of highs and lows
My friend can be sharper than a sword
I have a friend of highs and lows
Where we’re going I do not know.

Musings of a First Love

I still wonder, I dream…then I wish
I remember you…too well
Like we just met…all over again
Some days its tears…
Some days its fears..
Sometimes its regret
Most times is just me…mad at me
I wonder, I dream…then I wish

I imagine, I see…then I wake
What we could have been
But what we surely aren’t
Almost like we never met
Some days I’m mad
Sometimes I’m sad
Most times it seems pretty bad

I hope, I wait…then I wake again
What isn’t yet happening
Perhaps may never will
It’s all past and we don’t seem like the future
Some days I miss you
Sometimes I think about you
Most times I realize that I loved you.

Mean World

Sometimes life feels too short
And the world reminds us too often
So I wonder why we still wait…
Why we still leave things unsaid
Why we still hurt and burn within
Why we live alone right from within
The world around refuses us the peace
It presses against the promises we make
It steals the sincerity and confidence we have
It makes us think we’ve lost ourselves
That others have won and we are no more
There is a loneliness no one seems to understand
That which puts us in an odd capsule
Of sadness and silence no one hears a word
We scream but doesn’t seem loud enough
We cry, the tears don’t seem liquid enough
We talk, the words don’t seem expressive enough
We stop…we age from within
and every day we die a little more.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Ethically

The needs of society determine its ethics. – Maya Angelou

I read this quote online and it got me thinking. What are ethics? My helpful Encarta dictionary defines ethics as a system of moral principles governing the appropriate conduct for a person or group. What the legendary Maya Angelou said is this; what you, me and the world need decides how we behave. No statement has been this right to me in a while.
In the world of work, we find so many companies and executives becoming overly competitive and almost dishonorable. Literally fighting for jobs, going behind company policies and starting company resourced private firms. What do they need? They need to climb up the corporate ladder, they need more clients and ultimately more money hence they have become ruthless, lawless and wicked…very unethical
In the world of education, we see students become so selfish, researching and hiding their findings. Working on projects in secret and refusing to discuss what they have privately learned. Students are finding new ideas and refusing to share them for an even greater perspective. The system is forcing students to be irrationally competitive and self-centered. What do they need? They need to get ahead in class, they need to be 1st or be one of the very few honor students. They need to be feared in class and respected by mates. They need the promised gifts of academic excellence and they need the intellectual popularity hence they have become selfish, greedy, crafty and mean…very unethical
In today’s world of financial recession, we see more robbery in the streets, in the office and elsewhere. The most unsuspecting of characters are becoming so juvenile and unpredictable. There is not much motive for murder except an impediment to one’s acquisition of money and not much reasoning behind the action of theft. What do the people need? Money to eat, to afford a place to sleep, to finance a child’s education, to bail out a buddy, to pay an inflated medical bill or to calm the action of a creditor hence people have become rebellious, angry, violent, dangerous and callous.
So today I ask, must what we need, what we feel we are deprived of, drive us to the lengths of unethical behavior? Must our needs make us less human and more fearful? Must our needs nurture an unsafe world to the point where we ourselves are uncomfortable? What are your needs and what are they making of you?

A New Dawn

Many times I have avoided the inclusion of other styles of writing here
to maintain the flow of poetry, the rhyming of lines and the intensity of reasoning
But today I beg to step out of line, my line.

I have a bit more to say than rhyme,
a bit more to discuss than these old words of mine
so here it is, a series of fine lines, of the truth and reality in my words
i hope you find them more than divine and like a big changing sign.


Thanks for reading.



*do enjoy and let me know you were here.

Friday, April 30, 2010

Confession: I Write

I’m truly unworthy of this gift
This gift of thought and word, expression and belief
On some days like today, I actually can write
And on other days like yesterday, I’m shrinking behind this flashing pointer
These lines are not planned or deliberately rhythmic
My inner being is in control while the outer woman writes
What it writes, it does not know
The next line may look like quite a show
I’m lost in it and there seems to be no finding me
This is who I am, I accept it. I write.

3 Stooges

Confusion, fear and distraction
Whichever comes first, are sure to be met
To confusion, ignore.
It hates disregard...your calm will drive it away
To fear, laugh.
It gets insecure...it can’t stand your apparent confidence in its presence
To distraction, press pause.
It loses its momentum and by the time you hit play, its own plan will be agitated
And to life, Live! Because it happens just once!

Answers Made Easy

Looking for answers has never and will never be easy
In looking, you may look in every right place
But at all the wrong times
In finding, you may understand most of the answers
But miss the part you need the most
In following, you may know which way to go
But end up going to that right place through the wrong way
Looking for answers has and never will be easy
But in looking, look with your eyes OPEN
In finding, find with your heart RECEPTIVE
And in following, follow with your feet CONFIDENTLY
That’s when it becomes easy.

Still Feels Like Yesterday

In the still of the night, my tears appear
They stream down very slowly and drop heavily
Into what is now a bed of seamless memories
They appear, and then disappear

Every year, I don’t remember. No I don’t
I experience it again in that moment, in that very hour
In that very day, scenes as clear as a movie in HD
Stained in the memory of my heart

My comfort to another is to only be strong and trust HIM
Looking forward and upward always
And though it tarry, to wait for it
But this feeling, it never goes away
Even though these tears appear and disappear.

Broken Inspiration

On some days a writer is inspired to write,
Inspired to write about life, many times about love
Inspired by movies, literature and tales of old
Suddenly the writer is fully equipped with words,
Thoughts and emotions to write...to write well
But there’s that moment of realization,
The moment where the writer snaps back to reality
The reality of this world, this unfair heartless world
He wonders where the love is. Who cares enough to find it?
Or to keep it or to make it work
It starts and is blown away, it grows and is marred in one day
It’s found and slips away just as fast
What is the point of love, the writer wonders
It’s not always fun and when wickedness rains, it pours
It causes the outward to be reclusive,
The outspoken to be silent
The strong to be broken and the
Hopeful to be discouraged.
And then he puts his pen down, uninspired to write.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Another "you"

You’ve got me thinking,
Don’t even know what I’m thinking
You’ve got me falling
So fast the speed is frightening
I’m not sure what all this is
I don’t know what it will eventually be
But i doubt I want it to stop altogether
Suddenly I feel rather vulnerable
I feel weak and defenseless and somewhat restless
Almost out of control of my inner being, somewhat beyond reason
I’m not holding back but I’m tirelessly holding it in
Trying to take it all so slow
Though my soul seems to want it now
I don’t know if it’s my imagination
Or my heart’s true expectation
You’ve got me here, in a very short time
and i can’t wait to see where we go from here

Doubt...

I want to believe what you say,
That what you say is real and true
I wonder why it’s so hard to believe
And if I’m usually this doubtful in me
Am I unconsciously stung by the pain of the past?
Or do I have too sinister an imagination
Perhaps I’ve understood too well the wickedness of this world
The scandal, the plan, the bet and the trick
What’s worse is that deep within I’m falling for it
Whatever it is...I’m getting into it
I’m scared because I don’t think I can handle a sudden end
Will be more like love’s sudden death
I love my peace but as it appears,
I love the thrill this brings so much more
My inner being feels gently breached
And my thoughts crowd like sand at the beach.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Thank You

As my blog visitor counter approaches its 400th visitor, i would like to say thank you to everyone who has visited, read, followed and simply enjoyed my writing. its been a year since i put up this blog and its been great to know you visit it. it feels good to know that you took and take time to come through and check what's new. Thanks for the comments, suggestions and offers.

its been a tough year already and sometimes that's just what we need to keep the text coming. Soon i will be launching a "prose" or "article" style version of my writing which i hope will interest you just as much as the poetry.

i'm sincerely humbled and i do hope that anytime you come here, you find something that inspires you, that speaks to you or that simply engages you, even if its just for a minute. Do let me know your thoughts (ssmillss@gmail.com), its always good to hear from you.

Thank You
God Ble$$!

Feel it

I see through your thoughts, sometimes.
They tell me many things
They tell me you want it
They tell me you are truly interested
And you wish to be...with me

I see your actions though, most times.
They also tell me many things
They tell me you don’t really want it
They tell me you are unsure
And you wish someday you will be

I see through your feelings, no I don’t.
I wonder how they work
And how they speak to you
Are they not stronger than your actions?
Can they not bring your thoughts rather than actions to life?

I see, but not beyond my heart
And even within my heart, I find blind spots
May be they say different things
Or refuse to see beyond the obvious
That’s when it’s easy to realize, that to see is not everything
To feel however, makes all the difference

Untitled...the obvious

Friendship is a gift.
You know something is a gift,
When very few people have it,
When only few understand it
When fewer treasure it
And even fewer keep it

Friendship is a blessing
You know something is a blessing
When you don’t deserve it
When you are better with it
When you are happier with it
And even more comfortable with it

Friendship is an illusion
You know something is an illusion
When you just can’t grasp it
When you can’t master it
When you can’t comprehend it
And when you feel lost in it

Friendship is fragile
You know something is fragile
When you are tempted to over protect it
When you can’t afford for it to break
When you treat it with extra care
And when the least mistake takes it away for good

Friendship is misunderstood
You know something is misunderstood
When it is assumed to be something else
When it is forced to look like something else
When it is rumored to mean something else
And when no one can value its intensity

Friendship is spiritual
You know something is spiritual
When it is almost impossible to break from
When it is increasingly complicated
When it becomes an inner battle to separate it
And when it strikes stringent chords within

Friendship is rare
You know something is rare
When you can’t find it for real
When things look close to it but are not
When you keep looking and still don’t find exactly that
And when no one seems to realize it could be gone for good

...By a person who knows nothing, about friendship.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Grave Secrets

Some utterances, spoken words and lived actions,
Will never once be repeated or known by anyone else
Deep in the hearts of the speaker and sole listener
The actor and the sole witness, they reside.
Whose lips and hearts are sealed with the glue of mystery
And whose thoughts are guarded by the wall of trust
Soiled with the fear of uncertainty and forgiven mistrust
Even the midnight whispers for reveal
Cannot release the mind at sleep
Nor can the torture of single knowledge
Bring to sharing the clandestine deed
Never forgotten and unwillingly memorized,
Haunting the dawn of today and the sunset of tomorrow
Screaming in silence near unbearable but
Suppressed in willpower truly immeasurable
Clinging to the thoughts of the involved
Till at rest in the grave and soul at a place unknown
These are the truths of “Grave Secrets”

...The End...

One day, someday day soon, you too will understand
That all things, good or bad do come to an end
No matter how much you hold on to
Or how much you keep the image in mind
Life through time will fade it out
And nothing you do or say will make it last

The time is coming, when this scene will end
The curtains will drop and the crowd will leave
No taunts, cheers or pleas will be enough
To make things stop their ending ways
Some will leave with a smile so bright and
Others with a wish of delight

What's done is done, the past is past,
Still, leave with your head held high
It confuses the doubt and masters the courage
To face the new story with a plan in mind
Working through dreams so big
And counting on God the most High

When You Cry

It hurts when you cry
Your tears turn into reasons for worry
Deep inside...I get uneasy
Your tears turn into drops of pain
In my heart I feel helpless and down
Your tears turn into bits of doubt
In my head, I’m not sure I know you enough
To begin to understand how you feel

It hurts when you cry
Your tears make me sad and take me apart
Into pieces of weakness, grief and disorder
My hands feel tied beyond a helpful touch
And my words feel fragile short of satiable comfort
The world begins to look rather dark
I see only rain and it pours heavily on my world within
The cold, the darkness and mist prevail

It hurts when you cry
Worse when I don’t see your tears,
An inward suffering rewards with a devastated heart
A lonely day in a busy crowd and an angry soul
Full of things no one knows